BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

Pain, hurt, woe; I drown...
Voices, visions, words I shout
Cannot reach myself before I run along!
Cannot reach myself before I've gone alone!
I see my future fogged and still I stride.
Through a blurry windshield I look as I drive.
Life is like a battered and wheatered road,
There's rain and blizzard, cracks, turns and holes.
There's people who you follow and who you cross,
There's people who are hollow and who are lost,
Who drive the wrong way, switch to the wrong lane,
People of all creeds and of all sorts!
I'll find my own way, maybe not this very day,
Well, it definitely won't be easy...
But I'll try, and I'll stride, and I'll drive, and I'll ride;
Doesn't matter if I'm happy or satisfied,
The only thing is that I'll respect all who I'll meet,
And get to the next place I want to be
If that's possible. If not,
Better luck next time, kiddo.

NO REGRETS

another day in the grind I slave again to my own designs
still no sign of the fortress, the lastly reward promised
for all these uncountable perils, whence I perish without burrow
from all the falling shades of mine
another way I paved with sorrow, daydreaming about tomorrow
still no place has offered me the peace I project onto everything
to anesthetize the chaos, I lay fragile faithful veils
as if illusions helped me to harmonize

time and again I smack against a wall
and as if I could cause it to fall
with only stubbornness, I punch my fist to shreds
to deceive yourself you'll jump the chasm
with only wits is already impossible
with only legs let alone, I bet you'll break every bone

there's no use in inhabiting the trench I carved in hatred
disgusted with the outcomes, outcast from my own kingdom
a former vassal to my ideal I turned into a real leech
foraging for hopes I synthesize
it's a never-ending circle of ever increasing self-loathing
the mind sinks as the ego bloats, and I can never rock the boat
while my joys drift afloat, like a raft that's ever unreachable
the sharper my doubt the faster I dive

can't fight this enemy I anthropomorphize
it's but a shadow I allow to come alive
an puppet in my very hands, I fight another puppet-man
and that man is me again!
is to learn not to grieve, to turn away from the past?
and believe you'll write a new past over the last?
how many more times do I have to die...

can't fight an enemy that doesn't have a voice
how can I cast the emptiness into the void?
it's but a distraction, a tool I use for digressions
that allow me to waste my time
and I can't seem to communicate the pain that I can't suffocate
as long as it makes little sense, I keep switching for a different lens
with aims to explain my own demise, before I can talk it out and wide
how many more times do I have to lie...

maybe trying to throw the sadness overboard
by forgetting the hurt I caused with what I've done
is like accepting the past by choosing just not to hurt
does it mean not to regret anything?
Well, should my ego allow such a thing
without ever growing to drag me to the deeps?
just how many more times do I have to try...

FEEL AFRAID

do the ocean ever wonder whence has come the moonlight?
do the creatures that inhabit its darkest bowels realize
there is light somewhere?
do roaming fishes of the abyss ever stray to the heights
of warm pleasing waters where the greenery spreads wide
floating all too careless?

is there mistery where eyes cannot cast their sight?
is there reason to wonder upon the tricks of the mind?
is there reason to fear what cannot ever be touched?
is there safety in thinking what cannot ever be thought?

do great mammals of the artic that dwell deep in the ice
ever dream about a desert that would demand a lifetime
only to be circumvented?
if a black hole gives birth to a star within its arms
does the child's light ever try go through the chasm
that has the child star sorrounded?


feel afraid! feel afraid!
for reality is unknown to the gods and the apes
for the scrutiny of one atom might unveil the most damnable of fates!

*lyrics for melodic death metal

BYPASSED

another page in your dissertation
is gonna improve this gods' creation
from all the knowledge once unknown
there's a multiverse that hasn't grown
step aside to make room for the man
but where then should the woman stand?
scream all around your deepest pains
but does it help to let out in vain?
I see, the problem is deeper, and deeper it dives
the hills get steeper as you can't climb
indolence, the mother of death!
rejoice gracefully in her watchful breast!
sit around in a comfort zone, in the internet
in marriage, or in meaningless sex
but don't think hard about thinking too much
don't think about not thinking as such
be born, be grown, be fucked, be forgotten, be erased
I care this much about your fucking fate
the power to turn the tides of time
lies unguarded at the realms of the mind
a ground untread by rational beings
for rational is reserved to irrational things
and irrational things are the things that are
none is meaningful from dust to stars
and I talk this way to the entirety
very aware that I am entirely
bypassed...

ASSIMILATION

The vanity and impurity are purely shown
Relentlessly and motionlessly have gone
The inconstancy, the moaning winds and stones
The sands of the shore are now the driest ones

Charity has moved farther away
For so long companies have strayed
The vivid rays of light are now sepia
White snow withdrawn to grayscale winter

The wizardry, knowledge, chemistry
Have lost magic, tenderness, mystery
Bitterness, sorrow, rage, don’t exist
But nostalgia of early life still insists

The tide of the time is slowing and freezing
Just like the atmosphere never breezing
Suffocating, denigrating, melting
What was fighting now is yielding

Lena's Song / Reencounter

Para a minha namorada.

Lena's Song

Reencounter

fucking & punching

at the end of the walk,
what are we going to grasp?
for all we learn is going to be challenged
at the eyes of the youth, unproven.
we will be detached from reality,
like caricatures of people we once were,
or like heroes fighting blindly for misguided purposes.
we will be a consequence of history and genetics,
and the now young so to be old
will charge the then young, now to be existent,
as the guilty of our enlightening.
because it was not the being who created,
it was the being who has been created,
and who was driven to create.
therefore, creation is a product of itself.
and the one who said creation is indeed relevant
will be revealed ignorant, a product of their time.
a blind hero or heroine throwing punches into the nothing
for the sake of all humanity and living things,
is going to be remembered for all the numbness
of his or her geniality.

RUN TO THE CAGE

Fall again from the upmost height
To reach the bottom of the highest tide
I dive into the waters, so bland
And let the torrent and my spirit blend
Imprisoned within my own sight
I trapped myself into my mind
I run away from the whistling wind, the rising moon and the liberty
I freed myself but I don't want to be free
I want to sink, why can't you just let it be?
Like a ghost ship, at the ocean floor I roam
A derelict, that frightful fish call home
I have enslaved my destiny to the lustful fate of your designations
For one cannot tame the vengeful rage and devastation
Life reclaims from the person
Who has lived alone or sought emancipation
I perceived I don't wish to fight the relentless flow of time
I deceived myself to believe that I don't want to die
Eventually the shadows of your hair have lurked all around me
And I let myself entangle with every breadth
I have swum through the shadows you have cast
It's the warmest darkness I could ever imagine
Like an airplane cuts through the clouds
I tear through the floods that drowned
So many millions of souls
I go against the flow
To reach the bottomest cave
Where I can't feel nothing but your weight
To fulfill my desires, I run away from the surface, I run straight to your cage

THROW THE WORLD AWAY

Look at what I do, I’m at the top of the world
With the wiggle of a finger, I herd all the folks
The flocks are scared of remote controlled cars
They gather in the churches to find their peace
In a picture of a shepherd which I guise as so convincingly
I don’t think the brightest ones will ever shine so far
As to talk to the fainting light of the farthest shining star
Now I’m on the top I know it’s nothing it should feel like
The deepest will I ever built is to tear this shit apart!
I’ll throw this world into the garbage processor
I’ll send it to incinerate, to burn like filthy wastage
It’s so used up and so screwed I don’t know what to do with such a piece of rubbish
Should I refurbish? Or rather blend it and feed it to the fish?
I fought my way to the top of the tallest tree
I am that who hath avoided the wrath god hath laid upon thee
I am the king, I am the almighty god
I am the one, I am everything
I am the puppeteer of the most swollen brains
I am the gloriously hailed lord of the rain
The pi and the theta, the alpha and omega
Just to find out there’s nothing relevant
About this thing of reigning over everyone
I beat everybody to be the emptiest soul in this fucking reality
I give the sheep meaning though here’s only the void of mortality
I feel so unfulfilled to push the weak around
Cause everybody’s scared of a friggin’ plastic toy
I am so annoyed that I’ll have to destroy
When I’m done you can scavenge it from under the filthiest pile of trash
Just another lunatic, poorer hypocrite, to make this world a mess

GOODBYE GREY SKY

Just a little brown mouse among the giant cats
It’s so hard to catch a single breath
How did you find me?
I’ve been feeling so undone
And now I’m way beyond
The act of lying

I’m dying everyday just like every other living thing
In such a simple way to leave this place
I find the sky is so great
So much greater than the entire universe
I gaze upon the mightiest gray
So much prettier than your pretty hair

I’m past the point of dying; the gravity is drawing my body
Towards the darkest black hole within the brightest galaxy
The dark hand of god caresses me, I let it lead, I let it be
It wants to eat my life complete, I want to be one with everything

Digestive starfire, licks my body whole
I melt, I crisp, I’m ground down to nothing more
Than worthless stardust, nameless ashes on tombs afloat
Dispersed throughout entire seas, entire worlds

The gray is so much better then blue
Much better than black, much better than red
Much better than green, much better than purple
Than maroon, then fuchsia, then white
It’s the essence of the conscious being